it's a (relatively) sunny morning and i'm taking this opportunity to go over the last twelve hours - as always, in list form
a, carmen sandiego is fucking sexy. best present ever.
b, a birthday party in your mid-twenties is two things - amazingly fun as you are old enough to enjoy it without worry, and offensively depressing. i cannot count the number of vague male aquaintences and friends of friends who showed, obviously keen, thinking a birthday girl is desperate to get laid. although assuming post-party sex is by no means a bad idea, deigning the sad lonely single girl a one nighter just because she is easy is sad, rude, and cruel. i won't deny the attention was flattering and the amount of choice intriguing, but come on lads - i'm not laying it out there just because i feel old.
c, that said, i didn't even ask his name and said i was meeting someone for brunch to get him out the door this morning. i did however give him my number after his convoluted attempts. it was the least i could do.
d, can you accidentally have anal sex?
e, never do birthday shots of whiskey after a whole pitcher of margaritas (i love my new blender). well, go ahead, but dont be surprised to find bloody mary mix in the carpet, buffy in the dvd player, and a cigarette stubbed out on your copy of cunt after - could my friends be any weirder?.
f, always wait until the guests have left to initiate party sex - or at least remove their coats from your room so they stop interrupting.
g, birthday cards are best when they have superhero cartoons blazened with "atomic babe" on them. especially when signed with enigmatic (which is really just poncy british boy - i kid myself) "happy birthday my love!" from ugly sexy.
h, having popped my rectal cherry, i am having gaseous troubles today. or maybe that's the "lamb and mint" flavoured crisps talking.
i, sonja made me a mobile. it's lovely.
j, corsets should be everyday apparell
k, i am so glad homemade soup is in my future, i have on my favourite cardy, and i still have a whole day of birthday ahead of me.
4 comments:
wait. i thought your birthday was tomorrow.
i am going to (gasp) call you. what is a good time?
it is tomorrow. i planned it for a hang over day before the birthday so i wouldn't waste it lolling about.
will be in glasgow in the afternoon so how is like 5 my time?
sounds fabulous.
Happy birthday, Sara! I am going to forget all your references to taking it up the ass (although as Mitch once observed, it is "perfectly natural") and I hope you have a very lovely birthday today! Happy 24!
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