i am running on empty.
i have done 0 hours of family reconn, small talk and general "oh yes i care about you and your boring life" for about two years (one lunch with my grandma on the last visit home barely counts since i did all the talking) for years and i didnt miss it.
and i am out.
i just want to sleep for days and be left alone.
actually, i want to lay on the couch and not have the phone ring or people come over or anyone expect me to do or be or say or go anything or anywhere.
i wish i was my brother.
i should be better than this. i hope it is just pms and i can blame my body and stop thinking i am a horrible person.
28 December 2005
19 December 2005
social resurrection
tis the season to be outrageous.
so in case jennie, my social publicist, has not told everyone i know, yes i am back in the game.
as i was endearingly dressed as lucy from narnia saturday morning (full on pleated skirt, plaited hair, mary janes, mink coat, dagger and vial of holy water - good lord i can make a costume) for the holiday shoppers, a certain scot appeared in my shop wondering if i was free for lunch, as we had tentatively arranged.
de-lucy-ed and sans mink, i am whisked away to a cafe (well within sight of my colleagues, some of whom i know to have a crush on him). and it was surprisingly good. my faith in the dating system (i guess it counts since he paid and i glowed after) is renewed.
of course the fact we can talk about the merits of the mtv mentality, the meaning of fandom and the death of book alongside the glory of peter parker, gay catholicism and theoretical sex with a goat in the span of an hour doesn't so much validate the idea a date can be sane than it reaffirms my utter dorkdom (but geek chicks are hot, or so i heard).
but fuck it.
i had a nice time, he emailed first, and i have caved and bought the magazine he is in (may it never be said i don't fall into petty girl-dom despite my best efforts).
so in case jennie, my social publicist, has not told everyone i know, yes i am back in the game.
as i was endearingly dressed as lucy from narnia saturday morning (full on pleated skirt, plaited hair, mary janes, mink coat, dagger and vial of holy water - good lord i can make a costume) for the holiday shoppers, a certain scot appeared in my shop wondering if i was free for lunch, as we had tentatively arranged.
de-lucy-ed and sans mink, i am whisked away to a cafe (well within sight of my colleagues, some of whom i know to have a crush on him). and it was surprisingly good. my faith in the dating system (i guess it counts since he paid and i glowed after) is renewed.
of course the fact we can talk about the merits of the mtv mentality, the meaning of fandom and the death of book alongside the glory of peter parker, gay catholicism and theoretical sex with a goat in the span of an hour doesn't so much validate the idea a date can be sane than it reaffirms my utter dorkdom (but geek chicks are hot, or so i heard).
but fuck it.
i had a nice time, he emailed first, and i have caved and bought the magazine he is in (may it never be said i don't fall into petty girl-dom despite my best efforts).
15 December 2005
hello from before
i know.
i haven't written in a while. chill the fuck out.
but with my mom living on the sofa in my bedroom there was little room to embelish in the vixen's exploits (even with a mad ceilidh with a swede on graduation day) in the past month.
to be fair though, she bought me a flatscreen tv and a dvd player in recompense, besides, i needed the time away to prove my pious devotion to a trying a normal life.
today though, i am back in the game.
remember that hot young author? this one.
yeah well, he wrote me. he is on the list of scotland's top 100, along with the new Dr. Who and the guy who wrote Alan Partridge (probably brit references well and decently out of the scope of anyone not tied to this island).
and after some slight flirtation (don't blame me, he asked why his description included the alien term "jailbait" - and no, this one isn't a minor, i checked - so sue me for explaining piquishly?) we have tentative plans tomorrow.
i expect nothing, but think i might shave my legs just in case.
i haven't written in a while. chill the fuck out.
but with my mom living on the sofa in my bedroom there was little room to embelish in the vixen's exploits (even with a mad ceilidh with a swede on graduation day) in the past month.
to be fair though, she bought me a flatscreen tv and a dvd player in recompense, besides, i needed the time away to prove my pious devotion to a trying a normal life.
today though, i am back in the game.
remember that hot young author? this one.
yeah well, he wrote me. he is on the list of scotland's top 100, along with the new Dr. Who and the guy who wrote Alan Partridge (probably brit references well and decently out of the scope of anyone not tied to this island).
and after some slight flirtation (don't blame me, he asked why his description included the alien term "jailbait" - and no, this one isn't a minor, i checked - so sue me for explaining piquishly?) we have tentative plans tomorrow.
i expect nothing, but think i might shave my legs just in case.
05 December 2005
the various unbelievable things: the unrated edition
for the pg version see my link on the right.
for the additions see below:
1- that fucker stole my wallet. i hate london. punk ass cunts stealing my shit from right underneath me! no amount of elgin marbles and king tut can fix that fact it is a dirty city of fuck-face conmen and wenches.
2 - of course it could have been worse. my one of a kind lulu guiness bag was recovered. and give me a break for name dropping - mom showed up to my office in a full length mink and pearls for fucks sake. my parents live on another planet. still, i really miss my phone. and my movie card. and my drivers licence. and my free drinks card for the pub. and the 200 pounds mom owed me. so in total: london sucks major ass no matter how fucking brilliant an empire it used to control.
3 - i know i am swearing a lot. i may have survived my mother finding my condoms, being open about dad's new hormone stuff (trust me, really you dont want to know), but somehow i still find it difficult to swear in front of the bitch.
4 - mom is lovely but more than a fornight in the same bedroom is driving me up the wall. its not the mess or the noise, but the libido (if you are surpirsed you do not deserve to read further). i wondered what the deal was until under the pretense of a "nap" yesterday i went back to the hotel and relieved myself of various forms of stress in the tried and true method. nothing is better than a couple of orgasms, a pint, and a long walk in the countryside.
for the additions see below:
1- that fucker stole my wallet. i hate london. punk ass cunts stealing my shit from right underneath me! no amount of elgin marbles and king tut can fix that fact it is a dirty city of fuck-face conmen and wenches.
2 - of course it could have been worse. my one of a kind lulu guiness bag was recovered. and give me a break for name dropping - mom showed up to my office in a full length mink and pearls for fucks sake. my parents live on another planet. still, i really miss my phone. and my movie card. and my drivers licence. and my free drinks card for the pub. and the 200 pounds mom owed me. so in total: london sucks major ass no matter how fucking brilliant an empire it used to control.
3 - i know i am swearing a lot. i may have survived my mother finding my condoms, being open about dad's new hormone stuff (trust me, really you dont want to know), but somehow i still find it difficult to swear in front of the bitch.
4 - mom is lovely but more than a fornight in the same bedroom is driving me up the wall. its not the mess or the noise, but the libido (if you are surpirsed you do not deserve to read further). i wondered what the deal was until under the pretense of a "nap" yesterday i went back to the hotel and relieved myself of various forms of stress in the tried and true method. nothing is better than a couple of orgasms, a pint, and a long walk in the countryside.
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