bite me

it's official. i've had this thing too long. when i can't remember my entries the novelty has officially worn off.

but as i am rather enjoying sputtering on about nothing, i suppose i can continue a while longer. well definately until i get so bored i want to slit my eyeballs, or die of herpes (as my brother constantly reminds me is imminent in a dirty country like this).

anyway, my point was (i do sometimes indulge the urge to make one), i wish i was blessed with enough brevity, or at least a decent enough search engine i could see if i had already written something. because i think i told someone this once, maybe here, i don't remember.

right.

so it's my day off, and after hours of gruelling paperwork, a phd application, and trying to exchange a victorias secret bra online since they don't exist on this godforsaken island, i have fallen into the deep hole of internet maintence* from which i will emerge bleary eyed, confused, stiff and petulant in a few hours.

*generally taken to mean checking up on favourite websites, sorting old bookmarks, and various other weird timewasting routines that crop up every few months when left to my own devices at the keyboard before i even realize i am doing them.

and anyway, i came across this
the best first chapter of a novel ever. a shit book actually, but an amazing opening. and funny only because it's true.

barbie's S&M torture island consisted of hanging scantily dressed "handheld sexpots" (especially the hawaiian one) by their hair out my dresser drawers and on my ceiling fan and biting off or maulling those rubbery little toes completely designed to fit the small child tongue like a pacifier, until she assented to something terrible with the ugly Ken.

i don't know why i am confessing this.

mostly because i hate reality bites. mutliation and sex games are my only refuge from bullshit 90s ennui. go figure.