08 October 2010

now.

I have learned a lot of things lately. About who I am. About what I want.

While it is a little disappointing to be about 15 years behind schedule with this sort of thing, I've gotten over the shoulds for the most part now. I am a zen Buddha goddess it turns out. Also, I am battling depression - but more about that some other time.

Today, today is for remembrance.

For the Grady Family weekend
Yes, archery and canoes and pirates and dogs are brilliant. But mostly it just makes me happy to have all of us in the same place again. Also, am doing much internal work on being more open and honest with my family. So far C-, but I'll get there. I think. Thanks for being patient.

For Liam's unswerving devotion
Despite my crises of conscious and mood swings, he sees fit to love me anyway. I am so goddamn lucky (and scared).

For autumn leaves and crisp apples
It is a season of change. Of letting go. Of decay and dormancy as well as harvest. It is time. I am ready. Let's watch the sun set on this life and be relieved.

For Michigan
Shockingly, it turns out it's one of the most beautiful places in the world. After all this running away, I've been blind to the natural wonders of our little peninsula. While I vow never to settle down in Owosso or Webberville, just thinking of it makes me happy.

Mackinac
Chippewa
Menomenee

Saranac
Pewamo
Petoskey

Tequamanon
Cheboygan
Saugatuck

From Kalkaska to Escanaba,
via Sault Ste Marie and Kalamazoo
Michigan's places roll in my mouth and taste of home.

3 comments:

Heidi Renée said...

I had Jason read all of those Michigan names aloud and squealed with laughter at his interpretations.

I'm convinced I'm going to live in Michigan again someday. I hardly ever talk about it to Jason, but it's the only place I really want to live when the Navy isn't making that choice for us anymore.

the V said...

You know, as soon as I wrote Mackinac (granted for the first time in probably 15 years), my first thought was to wonder who would pronounce it wrong, and how many Michiganders would smile.

The mitten certainly has it's pluses - where would you go if you had your druthers?

Heidi Renée said...

The Lansing area will always get top billing with me, but the Detroit area is also acceptable. Really, wherever Jason can get a job.