addendum:

so after the ranting (and a furious email to my mother), i calmly cleaned my room, made my bed, and proceeded to get directly back in it for a do over. i read a little, napped a little, thought a little, and got up a few hours later ready to begin again.

and it ended up okay. i ran my errands, visited my favourite graveyard, did the ironing, and now have taken a nice long bath.

and things are okay.