busy bees

Things feel remarkably light for all the massive tumultuous nature of life right now.

Let's do a slight recap shall we?

1, Last week we went on holiday. To a cottage in the mountains. Us, wilderness, the sea, a castle, a cozy fire and a big bed - all I wanted really. And somehow it was much more complicated than my idyllic dream. More discussion and panic and big important us things. I was looking for escapism and found commitment. Go figure. But I feel the better for it. Grounded somehow. Like I've come home.

Plus, someday remind me to tell you the story of trying to by the morning after pill in a remote mountain village. It's hilarious. And kind of sums up the embarassingly human and intimately weird sort of week we had.

2, The day after we returned I went to work, suitcase in hand, destined for Bologna. The international trade fair for children's books is about twice the size of the MacNamara terminal with thousands upon thousands of new books in ever conceivable language being bought sold traded and auctioned. And although any anglicized or european nation was more than eager to chat (and foist upon me their brillant life shattering work), trying to explain via a translator to a tiny taiwanese publisher of watercolour picture books what a book fair is and why i would pay someone to come was a complicated, taxing and ultimately rewarding experience.

Plus, finding the best picture book of the year in Japanese only to realize no one has bought the english rights, so it is completely impossible for me to have much less market.

Not to mention the mad amounts of hobnobbing. Fair enough it's quite a glitzy sort of industry. But glamourous people with fountains of champagne who want nothing more than to discuss how Pippi Longstocking changed the face of childhood in the mid20th century. Oh, and did I mention it was in an ancient cathedral turned trendy bar in the heart of ivy covered terra cotta old town Italy? yeah, it's that good.

And now I am home, full of adrenaline and not much else.

While I was away much has happened at work I am not happy with and although I am elated at the future potential of my programme, this year has fallen sadly short due to neglect, misunderstanding and naivte. It's good. It is. And it's strong. But it's risky and it's badly designed so I have little hope of cresting the wave I had hoped for next year.

Which is fine, but I take it far too personally when I've made all these fabulous connections and the first piece of my work they will see is not something I am proud of. It's kind of sickening really.

But that is just one tiny little down turn in a world full of cherry blossoms, freckles, lovely books and joy. So I can hardly complain can I?

ps - should you ever need a self esteem boost, buy a ticket to italy immediately. sure, you know the reputations of the stallions with their catcalling and piazza vultures. But this one takes the cake.

It's my first night in town, and the only couple of free hours I have in the whole affair. I decide to take a sunset walk, perhaps find a cafe. I end up of course, skirting industrial estates and highway exchanges. I was never one for maps.

And in my wandering, a car was pulling out from a drive. He looked at me as I walked past and said the usual Ciao Bella. And when that got no response tried french. and german. and english and even spanish. I smiled in my aloof retreat.

So I was highly surprised when ten minutes later the same car returns, turned around from the other direction and pulls over. he gets out and is all smiles and "i'll give you a tour of the city" romcom novel on me. To the point I know about his family in northern Rome and his academic asiprations and he prays my flight tomorrow will be cancelled and I call the number I can't figure out how to refuse. And no it wasn't the green eyes or dirty Jesusness, but the downright simplicity of chatting by the side of the road that seems so utterly surreal and yet entirely domestic. And somehow completely nonlecherous, which in and of itself is a feat. It puts a spring in your step regardless of the weirdness factor in an odd sort of way. I highly recommend it.

Italy, for all your ego stroking needs.