mom

she came.

she left.

in between a lot of inconsequential and a few very consequential things happened.

we giggled and cuddled.

she ranted about drugs and brains.

i cried. she cried. we both felt misunderstood and alone.

we danced on the beach. we had photo shoots in silly places. we slept in and took long walks and sighed like there was no tomorrow.

and now, i don't feel so alone. not because of her physical presence, but i think because i finally managed to say things i have thought and felt for years if not decades.

i feel freer. truer. more like myself (because tragically, the one place i am not is with them.)

and she is more human, more real and less blameable somehow in her truth - even if it doesn't match my own.

i think the only down side is now i miss my sister even more.