so once upon a time, i lived with lauren. when she didn't hate me for filling the kitchen with ants or forgetting to pay the phone bill, it was really really great. especially when she could get drunk off 2 sminrnoff ices or indulge ourselves in flavo-ice and temptation island 2. or that time she needed help to band-aid over her nipples because her dress was too low for a bra and lord knows she wasn't going to nip out.
but all good things have a price, and hers was the random medical scares. (though, this is not the time for the insulin scare story where we went to the hosiptal in the middle of the night and i watched "aliens in the wild wild west" on disney only to run into a friend who got a broken beer bottle in the face while watching a child throw up in the waiting room. that's a different time.)
but once, when the pump was still newish lauren had to stay awake until her bloodsugar chilled the fuck out.
i don't remember what happened or why. what time of year it was. or what inspired us to watch TBS, back when it had just nixed it's "superstation" logo. But curled in our basement hell hole cubby; lauren, bridget and i wiled away the hours with old school Family Feud.
oh yes, it was the night of crazy grandma.
Now, I am not a huge family feud fan. But years of gameshow network with the girl had taught me to find Richard funny rather than pathetic and the retro-ness (sidenote: can you have a word that is only prefix-suffix without any actual content? is this postmodern lingusitics now?) of it all had it's charm. I still of course refused to watch the ones with Al from Home Improvement (except that time there was the Stars on Ice face-off. that was amazing.) and if anyone thinks Louie Anderson should still be alive, stop reading now.
Anyway, it was 3am. And it was old school family feud with the "ooh cheek or mouth Richard?" suspense and this tiny mad woman became my hero.
I wish I remembered more of it (It is times like these I miss diary-x for having lost all such carefully recorded memories I wrote down expressly so I wouldn't have to store them in my brain any longer), but her best two were:
question: Name a favourite pet
answer: hedgehog
question: Name someone you would leave your keys with
answer: mailbox
Richard notes this is not a person and gives her a rare, possibly unprecedented, do-over while trying not to fall over in gin-soaked, coconut-oiled laughter
new answer: mailman
she may have hastened to change this to "stranger" or I may have added that in later for effect. I have a tendency to do that.
Anyway, I wish I remembered more of that night. For all the drama of lauren's brushes with sugar-less death, it did make for some good times.
And I thought of it today because I found this. A pale comparison, but a fresh reminder of those classic gameshow days gone by.
3 comments:
GREAT, Sara. Thanks for sharing with the world that not only have I band-aided my nipples, but that my complete lack of boobs allows me to do this with adequate effect.
Awww, what sweet memories! I forgot all about crazy grandma AND Temptation Island 2! And I still feel really bad about the hospital trip... But I think what happened on gameshow night was I crashed and burned and had to call the ambulance and the 911 operator made me wake you up to make sure you would be able to administer CPR if consciousness should fail me. Crazy grandma was a much better alternative.
I officially condone any horrid memory you wish to share with our limited readership in recompense.
and darling, it was all worth it.
don't worry! the flavo-ice are on the way!
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